Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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