is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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