I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The adults are the big ones right?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
