I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
