I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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