He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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