just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
