I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
