Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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