my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
