so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
