This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
