I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
