franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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