Swine flu. Run for my life!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
