She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
