Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
