Sponge bath it is.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
