So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
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For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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