and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
