so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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