Ambien. No doubt about it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just puked most of my soul out..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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