pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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