I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
so much tequila, so little girl.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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