it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
