I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
