if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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