and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
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She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
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damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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