first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
