Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
