I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
ok first of all what the fuck
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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