Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
