Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
