around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
