If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
