after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
