Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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