And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
