No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
