the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
