he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
