so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
