Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
