I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
