I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
