shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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