I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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