I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
