haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
