He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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