I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
