you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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