I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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