He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
