What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The Olympian is in my bed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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