Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
