shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
