You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I will be naked everywhere
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
