is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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