How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
pop tarts are not kleenex
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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