New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
