i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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