Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
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Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
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I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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