this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
