Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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