Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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